Interactive Leadership Workshop

My story begins having a deep understanding of my mom. She is my bloodline, and it is very real and personal. I remember the house that we lived in at 1026 Kenwood in Hammond, Indiana. It was just my brother and I, and we also had a sister. That is my earliest remembrance, and I am able to recall many things. This is where my story begins. My mom made the sacrifice and when looking back on what she had to do for some things it tears at my heart. I would mention things to her from when I was a child. She would say how do you remember that? You were only two years old. I look back and I know that she did that. It is that sacrifice that continues to inspire me to this day. Her sacrifice and her story from when I was little until her passing in 2005. One of my earliest memories is that I come from abject poverty. But my mom made sure we had a roof over our heads and that we had the clothing we could afford. She made sure that we ate and let us know that we were important. For our meals she used to say, "It may not be what you want, but this is what you need." It's important that I embrace all of those memories. They show how my mom was a protector. She was a protector of her children in ways that most will not understand. That protection was my mom and my grandmother. These two forged a work and a plan to take care of ten children. Everywhere we moved my grandmother was there. She and my mom taught us how to stand for ourselves. They taught us to know that we have value. That value extended from our home to the neighborhood and school. When I was in school my mom would get on me for being sent home due to fighting. The neighbors would tell her I was out there fighting. But I really didn't want her to know, but she found out and she pressured on. My mom would say, what are you fighting about? She would say to me, Melvin or many times she called me boy, what are you gonna do? I let her know that individuals were out there talking about her in a bad way. She would say, are you gonna fight everyone in the world because they talk about you, or they talk about me. She said, when you come home? Do I look cut up? Beat up? Do I look like I'm close to death? And I said, No. She said, well, there's no need for you to fight it. I'm okay. This is a lesson I didn't really understand until later in my teenage years. Her message was this. No matter what people say about you, you are, who you are and what you believe you are. And I didn't get it then. But I did get it. And I practice that today. Many times, physical violence is an avoidance of dealing with who you really are, and it took me a long time to embrace that foundation as the truth. I was always concerned with protecting other people along with myself. It took me a while to realize the truth of what my mom was saying. In trying to protect others, I always wanted them to know that they have value. I have value and my actions over time helped me to further embrace that important truth. That Pinch in My Side My mother's name was Lourdes Bernadette Burks. She was a Rollins born in Sturgis, Kentucky, but I do not know that much about our history in Kentucky. I'm planning on going to Sturgis because I do not have much connection to Sturgis. That's why it's on my mind that I need to go back. What I remember most is my mom, grandmother, and my grandmother's two sisters. My grandmother was named Henrietta Barnhill and her brother was Roz. My grandfather was named Joseph, and I don't know much about him. I do know that my mother was born in 1925, and I believe my grandmother had her at 17 years old. She may have been born in 1909. My grandmother always lived with us. She had four daughters, including a set of twins. There was Jewel, the twins Jean, Jane, and my mom, Lourdes. I also remember these places and the numbers continue to be an important part for me, 1026 Kenwood and 26 Cleveland in Hammond, Indiana. We moved around a lot, and I can still remember more addresses: 1468 Sherman Street, 5027 Willis, 1400 Summer Street, and Kochi Street, maybe 1033 or 1026. We did a lot of moving, and when you are in poverty that's what you do. I also remember moving to one place that was too tense. There was too much killing. And so, we ultimately moved to Terre Haute. The reason I am combining this with my grandmother is because she took me under her wing. Every Sunday, she would invite me up to her place. She lived right above us within the same structure, and always close by. After Sunday meals she would invite me and my cousin up. She taught us etiquette, how to set the tables, and how to make sure you're manageable when eating and cleaning. My grandmother taught me a lot. She was a disciplinarian. I remember that pinch in my side. Yes, she would do that. She would take her knuckle and put in in your head. I want to say she was part Cherokee Indian, and she took me under her wing along with one of my other cousins. She took favor in us, and her actions showed us how she wanted things to be, to teach me. Deep love is how I would describe the relationship between my mom and grandmother. She had other children, but my grandmother always stayed with my mom. They had a love that was strong, and I cannot remember a time in my life when they did not live together. It was mother love, and I saw her discipline my mother. She was very stern. She was the matriarch of our clan. Greta Barnhill. We called her Mama Gret. She was very suspicious of doctors, and being part Cherokee, her skin was a reddish yellow or a yellowish red. She had long black hair, but she wasn't that tall. She ultimately passed of a heart condition, hardened arteries of her heart, but she didn't want to go to the doctor. We were living on 1468 Sherman Street. My grandmother wanted to make sure that she protected her daughter and the children. It was a combination of two forces working together, and that had an influence on me. It was deeper than I really thought about at the time, and it continues to have a deep influence on me. I didn't know why she selected us and why she selected me, but just like everything else you find out through life. Why people selected me? Slowly I found the why.